Minecraft Mods
by Cobalt Striker
Summary: Steve decides that he wants to change reality, because why not?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

**Mods**

Mods.

Steve decided that maybe he should spice up his game a bit. So he decided to modify reality instead of playing mini games which could be done much, much easier.

Because logic.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Because this'll piss people off.**

* * *

**Mob Talker Mod**

The mobs were having a nice day-nope Steve killed them all.

"This is like mass murder! Only more fun!"

Sigh.

Next mod.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**.

* * *

**Mystcraft**

Steve decides he wants to play Mystcraft.

What's Mystcraft any way?

"Well, you get pages, put them in books, put books on bookstands, and you use those to travel to other dimensions. The special part is, you get to choose what kind of dimension you go to by using different pages."

Oh, cool.

* * *

Where do you get pages?

"Trading."

This'll take a while.

* * *

Ok, so you made a dimension.

"Yup."

You entered.

"Mhmmm."

And you can't get out.

"Yes."

...

Idiot.

Go kill yourself or something.

* * *

"Hahahahaha. HAHAHAHAHA!"

What now?

"I found two pages."

And?

"The description says, replaces dirt with TnT."

What about the second one?

"Increases lava spawning chance on land by 5000%."

I'll prepare the back up universe.

* * *

What now?

"I dunno."

Next mod.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

**Thaumcraft **

Thaumaturgy... which giveth certain order to make strange works, of the sense to be perceived and of men greatly to be wondered at.

So, how was that for an intro?

"Cool, except for the fact that you just plagiarized John Dee."

Shush.

* * *

So what do you do in this mod?

"Research things, golemancy, mass murder, magic, wands, etc."

Ah.

"Researching's kinda addictive though, so stop me when I'm in too deep."

* * *

Hey, where's your Thauminominomicon?

"You mean my Thauminominominominominominominomicon?"

Sure, why not.

* * *

"MUST RESEARCH MORE."

NO. Steve, stahp it.

"RESEARCH FOR THE RESEARCH THRONE! KNOWLEDGE FOR THE KNOWLEDGE GOD!"

* * *

Hey, Steve-what the hell? Have you been up researching all night?

"Yes."

Dayuuuuuum.

* * *

"Hey, cool."

What now?

"Rod of Nine Hells."

You probably shouldn't use that.

"Cast! Ooooh! Exploding bats! Ouch! They hurt!"

Sigh.

* * *

Now what?

"Mass murder."

I'm gonna cut this off before it gets graphic.

On to the next mod!

"DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE-"


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Props to SirAC for suggesting this to me!**

**Edit: Whoops. I got some facts wrong. Sorry SirAC!**

* * *

**Tinker's Construct 1**

Steve!

"Yeah?"

What is this Tinker's Construct you speak of?

"A mod."

What kind of mod?

"A Minecraft mod."

...

"I'll tell you the rest later. I'm doing something."

* * *

"Let's do this!"

Yeah! I'm so pumped up after you told me about TC offscreen so the author doesn't have to typ-nevermind. I said nothing.

"I've set up the things."

What things?

"Weren't you listening while we were offscreen? A part builder to build parts-"

No shit.

"A pattern chest to hold patterns, a stencil table, a tool forge-"

How'd you get that? Isn't that advanced?

"Hush. A smeltery, and infinity aluminium brass."**  
**

Aluminum.

"Huh?"

Aluminum, not aluminium.

"Instead of asking how I got infinity aluminium-"

Aluminum.

"-brass, you correct my spelling?"

Yup.

"So, what we're going to do is get all the different materials and then cut-"

* * *

"-scenes. Not yet!"

Won't that take a while?

"Then we'll have a long chapter."

* * *

We'll start with the pickaxe.

"Awwww yiss."

Apparently, Cobalt has the fastest mining speed.

"Soooo, that's endgame stuff?"

Nope. Endgame is manyullyn. It has the highest durability, handle modifier, mining level, and base damage.

"How do you get it?"

Cobalt and ardite in the smeltery in a 2:2 ratio.

"That makes no sense."

The 2:2 ratio?

"That the product is worse than the precursor. Because mining speed is all that matters to me."

What makes no sense, is you knowing the word precursor.

...

Sorry.

"Where do you get cobalt and ardite?"

Nether.

"FUUUUUUUUU-"

* * *

You know those moments when someone nearly falls to their doom, but you catch his/her arm and it's too heavy so he/she tells you to let go, and before he/she falls out of sight, you see his/her smile one last time? Yeah, it's kinda like that, except instead of a human, it's 6 cobalt ore and 6 ardite ore, and instead of it's too heavy, a ghast fired at them so he accidentally pressed Q and let go, and instead of out of sight, it's into lava, and instead of seeing his/her smile one last time, he went insane.

"DEATH TO ALL GHASTS!"

And that was how Steve ended the thousand year reign of Emperor Ghast McEmo.

* * *

"Man, that was great. Why did we go to the Nether in the first place?"

Cobalt and ardite.

"FUUUUUUUU-eh, I'll just cheat some in."

* * *

This is it.

"Yeah!"

The pickaxe has been crafted! Now, mine!

"Let's mine-hey, where'd that rock go-oh, I mined it."

Now, let's do the rapier-

"NO. WE'RE DOING THIS NEXT CHAPTER."

Next chapter?

"Yeah."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING.**

**A continuation of the Tinker's Construct chapter.**

**'Imma ignore the battle axe until I know what it does since nothing is said on the wiki.**

* * *

**Tinker's Construct 2: Tinker Harder**

Yo. What now? Rapier, right?

"Nope."

Then what?

"We explain what the different tools do."

Ah.

"Because we already told you in the last chapter about the endgame stuff."

'Aight.

"I'll do the long ones."

Sure. I'll do the short ones.

* * *

"Rapier. Also known as the rapist of armor, this weapon ignores armor, lets you attack more by decreasing your opponent's invincibility time, gives an attack boost when sprinting, and lets you do a backwards hop. However, it does low damage and isn't that durable."

* * *

Shovel. It digs dirt 'n other shit faster.

* * *

Arrow. Ammo for the bow.

* * *

Short bow. Fires arrows.

Does this mean there's a longbow?

"No."

Awwww.

* * *

Hatchet. Kinda like an axe, but for leaves as well.

* * *

Mattock. Shovel + Axe + Hoe - Mining Speed = Mattock.

"Nooooooo. Mining speeeeeed. Why you do this?"

* * *

"Frying Pan. Grease not included. When placed, it acts like a furnace with one fuel slot and eight cooking slots. There is no output slot though, so make room in one of the cooking slots. Also blocks surprisingly well. Stuns and knocks people back pretty well."

All the bacon must be softening the blows, since it can't deal damage for shit.

* * *

"Chisel. With this, you can be a shitty Michelangelo! When put in crafting table with other thing, it makes special bricks. Also transforms things into other things."

* * *

Broadsword. Blocks well. Normal damage. High durability. Waste of ingots.

* * *

Longsword. Normal damage. Normal durability. Damage boost while sprinting. Shitty. You can lunge. Still shitty.

* * *

Cutlass. It's a secret! Shush. Critical hits for days!

* * *

Dagger. You throw it. It does damage. Unless you're Naruto, don't try this anywhere.

* * *

"Battle sign. Basically, a shitty broadsword. Feel the power of the Zistonian Battle Sign flow through your veins!"

* * *

Scythe. AoE attack and crop harvesting in a 3x3 area.

* * *

"Hammer. AoE mining. Become Thor when you smite your undead enemies with this! No lightning included."

* * *

Excavator. Basically, hammer, but a shovel and without the smite.

* * *

Lumber Axe. When you mine a block of wood from a tree, the tree gets destroyed and drops all the wood.

* * *

Cleaver. Broadsword + Decapitation Chance Boost = Cleaver.

* * *

Yaaaaay. We're done!

"Nope. We still have some other stuff to do."

Fuuuuuuuuuuck. Please, no modifiers! It's 10:00 PM and I just want to watch Zisteau.

...

"Fine. Next chapter."

* * *

Brownstone. Liquid tin and gravel in smeltery. Makes you travel faster when you walk on it. Like the Flash, only you have a road to follow.

* * *

"Heart canisters! Made with an empty canister, a jeweled apple, a necrotic bone, and a miniature red heart. Put one in your Heart Canister slot, and it gives an extra heart. Stacks up to 10! Yeah!"

* * *

Jeweled apple. 4 diamonds and an apple, in a diamond shape. Gives Haste 1, Strength 1, and Resistance 1 for a minute. Crunchy!

* * *

Necrotic bone. Dropped by Wither Skellies.

* * *

"Knapsack. Crafted with an aluminum brass ingot in the center, leather on top 3 and bottom 3, and tool rods on left middle and right middle. Acts like backpack. Can be put in knapsack slot. Makes you look like a dork. Gives 27 extra inventory slots in a new tab."

* * *

Empty canister. 4 aluminum ingots in a 2x2 shape.

* * *

Consecrated soil. Made by smelting graveyard soil. Does damage to undead when stepped upon.

* * *

Graveyard soil. Made with bonemeal, rotten flesh, and dirt. Heals undead when stepped upon. Spooooky.

* * *

All the other items not mentioned'll **_probably_** be in the next chapter. So, eh.

Continued in next chapter!

"Baaaaaai!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

**Tinker's Construct 3**

Smelting. You get a lava bucket, then you put it in the Seared Tank. After that, put ores in the Smeltery Controller. Right-click the Seared Faucet above the Casting table with a cast on it/a Seared Basin to get the thing you want. Yaaaay.

* * *

New ores! Tin, copper, and aluminum.

"Aluminium."

It's aluminum. Jesus.

"It's ALUMINIUM."

ALUMINUM!

"I WILL FIGHT YOU OVER THIS!"

BRING IT!

* * *

Sorry, Steve huffed too many fumes, and I got caught up in the adrenaline.

"What fumes?"

The aluminum got so hot, it became gas.

"ALUMINIUM."

I WILL MURDER YOU SO HARD-

* * *

"That never happened."

Agreed.

* * *

Modifiers. So, I'll tell you what a modifier does, and Steve'll do something with it.

* * *

Writable gives an extra modifier slot. Given by Paper Stacks.

SLOTS! SLOTS 'FER DAYS!"

* * *

Spiny gives the tool/weapon higher damage the lower it's durability is, but lowers mining speed. The only material that gives Spiny is Cactus.

"I don't think it hurts my enemies more than it hurts me."

* * *

Reinforcedgives a 10% chance per level to not consume an unit of durability upon tool use. Given by Iron, Bronze, Alumite, Cobalt, Steel, and Obsidian.

"MY TOOL IS SO REINFORCED/DURABLE/HARD RIGHT NOW."

* * *

Stonebound lowers the tool's damage, but lets it mine faster the lower the durability is. The materials that give Stonebound are Stone-

"No shit."

Flint, Netherrack, and Ardite.

"ROCK HARD."

STOP WITH THE DICK HARDNESS JOKES. IT'S NOT FUNNY.

* * *

A Ball of Moss makes durability regenerate. Rate of regeneration increases in sunlight.

"I AM THE SUNLIGHT WARRIOR! IN THE LIGHT, MY ARMOR IS **INVINCIBLE**!"

It doesn't increase defense.

"Aww."

* * *

A Silky Jewel gives silk touch. 'nuff said.

"MY TOUCH IS SILKY SMOOTH. HAHAHAHAH!"

Oh Notch, why, **_WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO_ _ME_!**

* * *

A Lava Crystal gives auto-smelting/fire aspect/flame to tools.

"FIRE CONSUMES ALL!"

* * *

A Diamond makes the tool's mining level elevate to 3 and the tool will gain +500 maximum durability. This can only be applied once per tool.

"YOU KNOW WHAT'S HARDER THAN A DIAMOND?"

Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself-

"MY DICK!"

Notch _dammit_.

* * *

An Emerald will make tool's mining level elevated to 2 and the tool will gain +50% maximum durability. This can only be applied once per tool.

Shut _up_, Steve.

* * *

Blaze Powder is kinda like Lava Crystals, except no auto-smelt.

"FIRE CONSUMES ALMOST ALL!"

* * *

Lapis Lazuli gives fortune.

Oh, hey! I won the lottery! Cool! I'm the secret prince of Who-gives-a-fuckistan! Nice! I'm the Chosen One!"

* * *

Redstone = Mining Speed.

"Mining at THE SPEED OF LIGHT!"

* * *

Nether Quartz gives sharpness.

"SHARP FRYING PAN, BITCHES!"

* * *

We're done, right? RIGHT?

"Yes. On to the next mod!'

FINALLY.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**SirAC, why did you make me do this?**

* * *

**Optifine**

What the hell? Optifine? Seriously?

"I CAN SEE EVERYTHING!"

What are we going to do, anyway?

"We could murder things."

What'd be the difference?

"Murder in HD."

...

"Yeah, nevermind."

* * *

"Punching wood. In HD."

* * *

"Mining ores. In HD."

* * *

"Smelting ores. In HD."

* * *

"Going to the bathroom. In HD."

* * *

"Horrific slaughter -wait, you guessed it- in HD."

* * *

So, what did you see?

_Steve vision!_

Punching wood. He punched the hard, fibrous substance composing most of the stem and branches of a tree or shrub using his left hand with the thumb, index, middle, ring, and pinky finger curled up into a ball. In HD.

* * *

Mining ores. He extracted the precious metals in rock form with his pickaxe, not knowing that deep beneath the surface, legions of tormented souls lay, screaming for release as each and everyone of them have their existences in this world being _rent_ apart in pure agony as they are exposed to the _hate_ of an elder deity-

Ok, never mind.

"What now?"

We could do something productive-

"On to the next mod!"

Hey! Wait-


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

**Biomes O' Plenty**

Wow.

"What?"

This is really, really pretty.

"I don't see what you're talking about-oh. Damn."

Yeah.

"I just wanna frolic all over this landscape."

No objections.

* * *

So, how are we gonna do this? There are 87 biomes!

"Multiple chapters, duh. We'll do it like Tinker's Construct."

Nonononononono-FUCK.

* * *

Alps. Tall, rocky, snow-capped mountains with sparse spruce trees. No edible mobs spawn here.

"ALL ALOOOOOOONE-"

* * *

Arctic. Pretty flat, with fir trees. Pretty boring stuff.

"You forgot to mention the snow."

THE BIOME'S NAME IS ARCTIC.

* * *

Badlands. A deserted biome made of sandstone and hard sand. There are frequent clay deposits that generate within the stone underneath the hard sand. Dry, hilly, and no friendly mobs. Under it's yellow sky, you will be hard-pressed to survive.

"Well, Pandora isn't known for being a friendly place."

* * *

Bamboo Forest. A biome made of a forest of tall bamboo trees overlook a flat, vibrant land with shrubs, bushes, and ferns. No pandas.

"I am sad."

We all are.

* * *

Bayou. Overcast skies overlook a lush swampy area with tall cypress trees, and dead trees in the murky water. Villages spawn here.

"_Insert redneck joke about villagers here._"

* * *

Birch Forest. Like a forest, but birch!

"Almost no difference from vanilla forest. I was expecting something different. Son of a birch!"

That was bad and you should feel bad.

* * *

Bog. A swamp-type biome. Deep and murky, with thick trees blocking the sickly green sky. The water's green too. Disgusting.

"The water's really deep. Don't get _bogged_ down! You could get _swamped_!"

I hate you so much right now.

* * *

Boneyard. A Nether biome that features boney spikes jutting from the floor and ceiling. The spikes can be harvested to get bone pieces of various sizes that can be crafted into varying amounts of bonemeal.

"If we got stuck here, we'd be _boned_!"

Die in hell.

* * *

Boreal Forest. A forest made up of spruce trees, oak trees and yellow autumn trees.

"Really pretty."

* * *

Brushland. A dry forest with short trees, bushes, and scattered thorns.

"You'd need to _brush_-"

NO. NO MORE PUNS.

* * *

Canyon. Hills and valleys composed of hard dirt, with patches of grass and pine trees.

"Rather _grand_, don'cha think?"

You sicken me.

* * *

Chaparral. A hilly landscape with pockets of exposed stone, small shrubs, and bushes.

"Kinda boring."

* * *

Cherry Blossom Grove. Pink and white cherry trees overlook a forest of pale green grass, anemones, tulips, and clover.

"Pretty as fuck."

* * *

Coniferous Forest. Tall fir trees cover a temperate, and somewhat hilly region.

"Like a forest, only coniferous!"

* * *

Corrupted Sands. A soulsand wasteland with thorns and tiny cacti scattered about. In the Nether.

"Hardcore desert."

* * *

Crag. Rough mountains with jagged peaks, and dark, stormy seas under the dark teal sky.

"As I stood atop the crag with my cloak billowing in the rough gales, the stormy skies crackled with unbridled power, only matched in power by the Gods, I realized, that I looked really badass."

* * *

More biomes to come in the next chapter!

"Bye!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**.

**I put a Star Wars reference here somewhere.**

* * *

**Biomes O' Plenty**

More biomes!

"Yaaaaay."

* * *

Dead Forests are forests-

"No shit."

-containing dead and dying trees with a gloomy sky.

"Watch out! Slendy's gonna rape ya!"

* * *

Deadlands are hellish places with charred grass, falling ash, blood-I mean red water, lava, and roving bands of creepers, ready to jihad

"Hardcore plains."

* * *

Dead Swamps are low-lying marshes with dead trees, dark blue water, and mud.

"Watch out, you might get _swamped_-"

NO, YOU'VE ALREADY DONE THIS BEFORE.

* * *

Dunes are like the desert, but with curved hills, a cool dusty sky, and dune grass here and there.

"And an extra sun."

No, you're just on drugs.

* * *

Fens are dying swamp forests with mud, cattails, and other swampy bullshit.

"Jeez, how many swamp-type biomes are there?"

Infinity billion.

* * *

Fields are basically plains with scattered forested sections and roses everywhere.

"I will frolic in this so hard."

* * *

Frost Forests are the love children of Forest and Taiga.

"The cold winds whipped across my billowy cloak and my billowy scarf and my billowy shirt and my billowy billows and _holy shit I am billowy_."

Ha! Try as much as you want, but nothing you say will be as badass as what you said for the Crags biome!

"_You're on_."

* * *

Fungi Forest= Forest + Mushroom Biome

"Because of all the trees, there's not _mushroom_ for all the mushrooms, which is sad 'cause I know their leader, and he's such a _fungi_."

_I hate you and everything you stand for._

* * *

Gardens are like plains, but with giant flowers and Rosesters.

"Rosesters?"

Rose roosters.

* * *

Glaciers are kinda like Arctic biomes, but less flat.

"That's pretty _cool_."

You cannot even comprehend my fury.

* * *

Grasslands are the Beta 1.7.3 Swamp biomes.

"Look it up. Don't worry, we'll wait."

No promises.

* * *

Gravel Beachs are beaches, but gravel.

"That would hurt to get buried in."

* * *

Groves are kinda like flat forest with poplar trees and bushes.

"Er, I got nothing."

* * *

Heathlands are sorta flat with oak trees, shrubs, and desert grass blocks.

"..."

* * *

Highlands are plains with grassy cliffs covered in tall grass.

"Well, we could use this grass to get _high, _I guess-yeah, I got nothing."

* * *

Hot Springs are spruce and pine forests with pools of spring water which nourishes, and regenerate. There's also lots of lava underground.

"A really, really great biome to start in. You'll never be hungry again!"

* * *

Icy Hills are Arctic biomes with hills.

"I'm in deep thought right now, don't disturb me!"

* * *

Jade Cliffs have jagged cliffs, pine trees, and shrubs under a jade sky.

"I looked at my land, with it's jade skies, glorious trees, and quaint shrubs, and I vowed to destroy whomever tried to claim this beauty as their own."

Whelp, you win.

* * *

More in the next one!


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**For getting the reference first, Daebak Fai gets a cookie!**

**There's a Black Mesa reference here.**

**AN: I deleted my other fic Minecraft Minigames because I didn't like the way it was progressing. I needed 4 people for a minigame, but I didn't want OCs. I went with the OCs anyways, but then I realized this wasn't what I wanted, nor what I expected. I couldn't think of anyway to fix it, so I deleted it. Maybe when summer starts (I live in Asia) I'll reboot it. For now, though, I'll focus on this.**

* * *

** A͖̠̬̿̽ͤ̿̑̂ ̘͔̤̠̮̯͆ͩͯb̖̝̤̲̓̽͆r̟̲̖ē͉̤ͬ͆̓aͧ͒̇k̳͂͋ͫͪ̈́̒̋ ͇̟̆̍͆͆̿̀ͅf̤̚r̘̩̬͎̲͊ͩ̎ͦ̒ͬ̊o̱͍͈͔̠̊m̝̟̏̄̊ ͤ̃͋͆ͣ͋̾o͍ͨù̪̮͓̭̹͔̼͐̆̎r̻̃̎ ̭̯͓͇͓̅͊ͤ̊͊̒r͕̓͑͊̊ͮ͂̓e̹̲̱ͧ͌̆̊ͥ̐̄g͈͋ͩu̖̮̫̖̾l̜̈ä͚̂ͯ̿͂̚rḽ͔̬̺̣̟̽̒̍ͯ̅̆́y͓͔̹̥̮̳͑͌̂ͯͪ̆̚ ̰̤̜̬̞s͐̿̿̐c̩͎̳̼͇̰̐ͬ̓̇̌h͎̻e̳̦͑ͬ̅̏d͖̭̰ͨ̾ͥu͔̣̟̫͈ͫ̍̈́̊l̺͓̦̙̮͉ͩ̆ͤe̼̓͗̉̓͋̒d̙͇̹̳̟̈͛͗̅̎̋ ̬̠̙̤̺͍̅̂͆̊p̹͕ͤ̑ͮ͒͐ͧ͒r̰͍̟̙͈̙̞ͦo̗̳̱̘̹͆̿̐͆̇ͩͦg̹͈͚ͯ͛́ͯ̿r̀̌ͧͦạ̯̟̼̎̈́m̰͙͈ͧ̉**

Wait, what the hell?

"Huh."

What's going on?

"Seems like Minecraft crashed."

Ah.

"Now what?"

We could try rebooting it.

"All the save files got corrupted."

Well, we could try survival-

"Nooooooo!"

W-w-why?

"It's boooooooring! Besides, mods are cooler."

We could have a set of goals to do. Maybe that could work?

"Like what?"

I dunno, survive a fall from max height? Kill a blaze with snowballs? That kinda stuff. The readers could give suggestions and stuff.

"Say, I know what this is!"

What?

"This is a secret, elaborate scheme to get ideas for a new fic!"

Well, it isn't secret anymore. Dick.

"Whatever. Back to our regularly scheduled program!

* * *

**Biomes O' Plenty**

I have new life goal.

"What new goal?"

To become Kevan Brighting.

"Who?"

The Narrator of The Stanley Parable.

"Why?"

Look it up. Can we start already.

* * *

The Lush Desert is a red rock desert with sand and grass pockets.

"Hey! I _red_ all about this in the Wiki!"

We are switching, so you don't get to do this anymore.

"Fine."

* * *

"The Lush Swamp is meant to be the Swamp biome from 1.8 Beta."

You know, when I said description, I didn't mean paraphrase from the Wiki.

* * *

"The Mangrove is an aquatic forest with thick, deep-rooted mangrove trees and shrubs."

I also didn't mean copy-paste from the Wiki.

* * *

"The Maple Woods is a calm, tranquil red maple tree forest, with the occasional spruce tree."

Now all we're missing is the friendly lumberjack who says 'Sorry' and 'Eh' a lot.

* * *

"The Marsh is kinda like the Plains, but has lots and lots of random water pockets everywhere."

I was searching for marsh jokes in Google, 'cause I couldn't think of one, and I saw medicinal fried chicken in the first page. Odd.

* * *

"The Meadow is the Fields biome. 'Nuff said."

Soooo, should I just repeat the joke you said for the Field biome?

* * *

"The Mesa biome is a red rock mountain biome with a dusty sky."

Surprisingly, Gordon's not here.

* * *

"The Moor is a mountainous biome with ponds and mud. It's really gloomy."

A cold, biting wind blew across the moor, and the Farlanders hastened their step, lest they invoke Ramuthra's wrath.

"Holy shit, no wonder you're the narrator."

* * *

"The Mountain biome is not at all like the Extreme Hills biome, but more like a hilly forest of green oak and pine trees."

It's like a mountain, and more like a hill with lots of trees on it.

* * *

"The Mystic Grove is magical forest of wonderment with tall trees, blue grass, and Poisonjoke-er I mean glowing flowers."

It's MAAAAAAAAAAAAAGICAL.

* * *

"The Oasis is a biome with palm trees and grassy ponds."

You realize now, that every time you and I go into an Oasis biome, I will tell you that we're in a Desert biome, and you're seeing a mirage.

* * *

"The Ominous Woods is a dark forest with dark trees, dark grass, dark foliage, and a dark sky."

Rather dark, don'cha think?

* * *

"The Orchard is a nice, cheery forest, with trees that drop-"

That durka-durk.

"-apples like crazy."

* * *

"The Origin Valley is what Minecraft used to look like before biomes existed."

Look it up. We'll wait.

* * *

"The Outback is like The Plains, but with different colored grass, hard sand, and shrubs."

It's missing the deadly animals, deadly insects, deadly people, and the deadly everything.

* * *

"The Pasture is a kind of flat field of barley."

Barley 'fer days.

* * *

"The Phantasmagoric Inferno is a burning hot area, with lava and smoldering grass in the Nether."

Phantasmagoric means 'has a deceptive or fantastic appearance' but, all this appears to be, is death.

* * *

"The Polar biome is just flat ice everywhere."

Perfect for ice skating though, if you don't mind dying of hypothermia.

* * *

"The Prairie is a dry and lush field with a few trees here and there."

Not a breath of air stirred over the free and open prairie; the clouds were like light piles of cotton; and where the blue sky was visible, it wore a hazy and languid aspect.

* * *

More biomes next time on, Wheel! Of! For-wait nevermind.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Props to SirAC for getting the reference. Again.**

**There's an Adventure Time reference.**

* * *

**Biomes 'O Plenty 4**

Are we done yet?

"No."

FUUUUUUUU-

* * *

The Quagmire biome is basically a huge shit hole of mud and dead trees.

_"Hole-_giggity giggity."

* * *

The Rainforest biome is a really hilly, thick kinda place with lush trees.

"No rain?"

* * *

Huge redwood-

"That's what she said!"

_You are like a five-year old._

-trees lay in the Redwood forest biome along with hills and shrubs.

* * *

The Sacred Springs biome is a hilly, shrub-overgrown biome with flowing springs under a bright blue sky.

"Pretty."

* * *

The Savanna is a flat, dry area with sparsely scattered acacia trees and the occasional horse.

"_I bless the rains down in Aaaaaaafrica-_oh Notch it's stuck in my head! I can't get the song out of my head! Aaaaaaafricaaaaaaaahhhhhhh heeeeelp!"

No one will get the reference to that song.

* * *

The Scrubland is like the Plains biome but in Africa. So basically, yellow and dying.

"That's _offensive_ man."

* * *

The Seasonal Forest biome is the Forest biome but the leaves are red/orange.

"I feel that there are too many Forest-type biomes."

* * *

The Shrublands is the Plains biome but with shrubs.

"Shrub. Shrub. Shrub. Wow, what a funny word."

* * *

The Shield biome has exposed stone, pine and fir trees, lakes, and gravel.

"Based off the Canadian Shield! Not an exact replica, because there aren't any meese-

It's mooses, not meese.

"I have killed for lesser reasons than grammatical error."

* * *

The Sludgepit is a low, muddy area with thick, looming trees and a murky sky.

"A pit of sludge, so your mom's vagina."

Too far. Too far.

* * *

The Snowy Coniferous forest is a coniferous forest which is snowy.

"Why is it a second biome?"

* * *

The Snowy Dead Forest is a-you guessed it! A Dead Forest biome with snow.

"I reiterate my question: Why is it a seperate biome?"

* * *

The Spruce Woods are the Beta 1.8 Taiga biomes.

"Look it up."

* * *

The Steppe biome is a flat landscape with dead grass and patches of sand.

"_Step_-"

NO! NO MORE PUNS! WE'VE HAD ENOUGH FROM LAST CHAPTER!

* * *

Temperate Rainforests contain tall, moss covered trees and willow trees.

"ENOUGH WITH THE FORESTS!"

* * *

The Thicket is the Forest biome, but with thorns that hurt you.

"OK, I'm done, I quit, I give up. I've run out of forest jokes."

* * *

The Timber is a dense, decaying oak forest with toadstools.

"..."

* * *

Tropical Rainforest biomes have dense, leafy trees, orange daisies, melons and an lime green sky.

"..."

* * *

The Tropics is a beautiful biome with palm trees and a blue sky.

"_On a tropical island, underneath a molten lava moon, hanging with the hula dancers, asking questions 'cause they got all the answers, puttin' on my lotion, sittin' by the ocean, rubbin' it on my body, rubbin' it on my body, get me out of this caaaaayeayeave, 'cause it's nothin' but a gladiator graaayeayeave, and if I stick to the plaaaaaaaaan, I think I'll turn into a lava maaaaan!"_

* * *

The Tundra is a place with dead grass, boulders, and it's usually bordering the shores.

"If it's a Tundra, then where are the polar bears?"

Tundra comes from the Finnish word _tunnaria_, which means treeless plain. I think you're looking for the Polar biome.

* * *

Volcanoes have a gray, smoky sky over a barren land of dark, ashy stone and flowing lava.

"I now regret making my Heatran use Magma Storm."

* * *

Wastelands are like Plains biomes, but dead with dead trees, and liquid poison for water.

"Beware the Brotherhood of Steel!"

You mean the Guardians, since we're referencing _Wasteland_, not _Fallout_.

"You are a meticulous douchebag and I hate you for it."

* * *

The Wetlands is a swamp-type biome with willow trees and other swamp stuff.

"Wetlands are wet."

11/10 would read again.

* * *

The Woodlands biome is the Forest biome, but some trees have fallen over because of the sheer amount of Forest-type biomes.

"..."

* * *

The Undergarden is a Nether biome with hellbark and other Nether plants.

"We done yet?"

We still have to do the Promised Land Biomes.

"FUCK-"

Neeeeext scene!

* * *

"ME!"

We'll do this quickly.

The Blessed Bog is swamp, but Promised Land style.

The Majestic Meadows is a Promised Land Plains Biome.

The Wonderous Woods is the Forest biome, but Promised Land-ified.

Phew! Done.

"Yaaaay! Done! Now what?"

Next mod!

"FUUUUU-"


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**SirAC recommended 'Mo Creatures, and I decided, "Screw him! I'm doing something different!"**

* * *

**Morph and 'Mo Creatures**

Morph and 'Mo Creatures?

"Yep."

Why?

"They're compatible with each other."

What's Morph anyways?

"If you kill a mob, you gain the ability to transform into it with all it's abilities."

Cool.

* * *

Oh, hey! A spider!

"_DIE DIE DIE-_"

Aaaaaaaaand Steve's a spider.

"Spidersteve! Spidersteve! Spidersteve! Murders everything like a Steve does!"

* * *

Hey, a bat!

...

Now it's dead.

"Batsteve! Murdermurdermurdermurdermurdermurder, Batsteve!"

* * *

The Enderdragon!

...

Now it's dead.

...

Hey, Steve. What're you doin-OH NOTCH RUN!

* * *

_Click_!

Day 47:

Overlord Fuhrer Emperor God-King Hierophant Archmage Steve has nearly destroyed the Overworld. I fear that there is no hope left-oh wait! I'm the Narrator! What the hell am I saying! Fuck this shit! I'm out!

* * *

_Click_!  


Day 59:

Our only hope, Narrator has disappeared. His armies have overrun our camp and it is only a matter of time-_shhhhhhck__-STEVE ÜBER ALLES! STEVE ÜBER ALLES!_

* * *

"What the hell just happened?"

You morphed into the Ender Dragon, went crazy, shit hit the fan at full velocity, and then I restarted the world after a while.

* * *

"Now let's try the Wyverns from 'Mo Creatures!"

Nonononono-FUCK-

_STEVE ÜBER ALLES!_

* * *

"Muuuuuuuurdeeeeeeeer..."

Now Steve's a Zombie.

* * *

"Redrum!"

Guess who he is!

* * *

Armadillo!

"Hahahahaha-NO."

Why?

"I have... serious issues from my past with armadillos."

Is this some sort of foreshadowing?

"SEEEEEERIOOOOUS ISSUUUUUEEEES..."

What the hell.

* * *

How exactly am I supposed to end this?

"Like this. HEIL STEVE!"

See you next time on OverWorld War 2: Electric Boogaloo-er I mean Minecraft Mods.


End file.
